Thursday, March 7, 2013
My dearest most previous Lord:
Today I realized I cannot conceive of my life without You in it, lord Jesus. I was just thinking about the things I do, the way I spend my time, what I think about. Often my time is spent thinking of you or asking you that your presence invade my life, flood the chambers of my heart with your presence. I realize that faces look differently: the faces of my students, family, strangers, everyone, look differently, when, and ONLY when, I am thinking of you!
I am not making this up! I know I am not making this up because I sin when I forget! I sin when I look at my sisters only for what they can obtain for me; I sin when I look at others and see their faults! I know it's true because **I have lived your life, and I have seen that this life is so much more beautiful!** The way is by looking at things and thinking about things with your gaze of virginity, with your unpossessive, all-possessing love!
Jesus, everything is more beautiful when you are present. I was so moved today when one of my students asked me today, "miss Joly, are you a saint?" Who asks this? Who put the idea in her head? What about me made it evident, made it necessary to ask? Was it my words, or my way, my actions, the way I look at my kids? How do they know I love them—because I say it or because they can see it?? Dear lord, please make it be the latter! My words are fragile, often sinful, and they wear out. But relationships that are exceptional are eternal. You asked Peter, "Simon, do you love me?" It's definitely not a discourse. It is being with, being with you through BEING with my students, or with babe, or Janine, or daddy, or Dino, or Ana—“yes, Lord. You know everything. You know that I love you."
Jesus, you yourself gave us the golden rule. If you are truly present and dwelling in me now and always, help me to treat others as I want to treat YOU! If I could love this way, if it were your will, I would love others for love of you, instead of me, because of your life within me. Help me to love others for love of you, if it be your will!!!
Come lord Jesus! <3
